Chapter 3
Sandra found that it
was as Megan and the technicians told her. The itchiness didn't
seem as bad this time. This time she seemed to be less trance-like
in her visions. It was more like falling asleep while there is a
room full of activity around you and knowing it's there and incorporating
into your own dreams.
Instead of the pool hall,
the setting was the library on campus. Her perspective was one of
sitting and reading a book. Although she could clearly see the book
and she could see the letters on the page she couldn't read them.
They did not coalesce into words. She thought that in this mindstate,
she would have to learn to read all over again. Yet by some process
other than seeing the letters, making words out of them and making
sense out of what the words were saying, she knew what was being
read!
She knew it was about
chemistry and she completely understood what was presented on the
page, or at least she felt like she understood. Yet at the end of
the session when she tried to recall what she (or was it he) read,
it made no sense. The images of the words were there in her memory
- she could read those of them that she could remember now -- but
their meaning were beyond her comprehension. Fleeting bits made
sense based on her own knowledge of chemistry but the main part
was obscure.
She came to the conclusion
that her understanding during the trance was not based on her experience,
but rather it was based on Billy's experience. Disconnected from
the source, she no longer had this experience. It left her feeling
a little empty; knowing that there was something she had once known
and now was lost. She wondered if Alzheimer's patients felt the
same way.
Her technician monitor
was impressed, "You mean you actually could read what your
implant was reading?"
"Not exactly. It
was more like I knew what he was reading. I didn't actually see
or hear any words."
"This is phenomenal,"
the technician went on, "Most girls don't even see things in
their first couple of sessions. You are already into getting impressions
and thoughts. I have to report this to Dr. Sterneman directly."
-=o=-
Sandra waited for Megan
to emerge from her booth. Both girls stopped into the women's room
on the way out. Hat head is bad enough, helmet head was absolutely
hideous.
As usual, the girls compared
notes. Megan blushed as she reported her feelings. "I think
I had an orgasm," she explained.
"What?"
"I think Jason was
sleeping. The images were really chaotic, but flashing in and out
were pictures of naked women. I don't mean actual memories of actual
naked women, but apparent memories of pictures of naked women. I
could feel his erection. I don't know how. Obviously, I don't have
a penis, but I think it was kind of like the phantom pain that amputees
say they feel in their severed limbs."
She went on, "I
felt like there was a part of my body hanging, or in this case standing,
between my legs. Without touching it I was aware of it and its hardness.
I had a tough time hanging onto the illusion. It's sort of like
your hand or another part of your body. You're not aware of it unless
there is something wrong with it or else you have to think about
it."
Sandra blushed, "That's
a question I always had. I remember as a girl when I found out that
boys had penises. I asked my older brother if he constantly felt
it there hanging out in front of him. I think I embarrassed him.
I didn't know any better. I was just curious and I still am."
"Considering I never
felt Jason's penis before, I think the answer is that boys are so
used to it that they don't normally feel it," Megan replied,
"I think they only get to feel it when it gets erected, or
they have an orgasm. Now that I know what to look for ... or feel
for, I'll try harder the next time."
"Tell me about the
orgasm!" Sandra said, eyes wide and licking her lips.
"I think boy-orgasms
are like boy-brains. They seem to be very centralized. The most
intense feeling seemed to be in the penis itself, and it got weaker
the further you get away from it. It doesn't seem to be an all-body
thing."
"How did he have
this orgasm?" Sandra asked, "I mean was he ...."
She hesitated and ended in a whisper, "Jerking off?"
"No, that's the
weird thing about it. He wasn't doing anything. I didn't even see
anything that suggested intercourse or other sexual activity other
than looking at pictures of naked women," she sighed. "I'm
pretty sure that he was asleep."
"Are you OK,"
Sandra asked her friend.
"I feel OK, except
maybe a little more tired than normal after one of these sessions.
Maybe tired isn't the right term. I seem to feel more relaxed like
I do after a workout."
Sandra tucked these revelations
away in her mind, determined to use the in the future.
-=o=-
Sandra pushed her breakfast
around her plate as Megan joined her. "What's the matter, girl?"
she asked.
Sandra looked back at
her with a blank stare.
"Come on,"
her friend urged her, "It's me Megan, your helmet mate. After
all we've been through in the testing booths, you can tell me anything.
I'll understand."
"Well," Sandra
began slowly, "I didn't have a date for last night and I really
wasn't in the mood for studying so I wondered over to the center.
Betty was there just ready to close the place up. I convinced her
to let me use my helmet."
"What! Without the
technicians around?"
"Yeah, I mean what
harm could be done."
"So how long were
you hooked up?"
"Well, I got back
here about 3 this morning?"
"SHIT! Girl. What's
that like 9 hours? The most anyone has gone before was about two
and a half hours. And that was with the techs there to baby sit."
"I don't know how
long I was actually hooked up. I woke up and the helmet was off.
I don't know how long I was asleep."
"It is rather hard
to tell if you've been dreaming or not."
"No, I was in touch
with him and I knew it. I could see everything clearly. I could
hear everything clearly. I could even feel and smell. It didn't
start out that way, but as the evening progressed, I got deeper
and deeper into my implant."
"I noticed that
myself. I get better the longer I've been on the machine and the
more times I use it."
"Anyway it all started
out kind of fuzzy," Sandra went on, "I was back at the
pool hall. The only clear recollection I had in the beginning was
drinking beer."
Megan laughed, interrupting
her friend, "Well there's one good thing about this process,
you can enjoy beer without getting fat. Did you get drunk?"
Sandra nodded, "Yes
I did, and I did not have a hangover when I woke up which, I guess,
is more than I can say about Billy." She went on, "So
I shot some pool. Eventually it came to my recollection that I was
with a girl called Jessica Henson. I think I've seen her around
campus, but I can't be sure."
"Anyway he's hitting
on Jessica, and I'm concentrating on her boobs. Well, he's concentrating
on them anyway. I don't know what guys find fascinating about them.
But it's making me hard. I can feel my penis or what I think my
penis is pushing against my pants. I'm not even concentrating on
the game. All I'm thinking about is getting out of there and into
bed with Jessica."
"I couldn't believe
the bullshit I was handing this girl. I tried to stop him but the
best I could do is make him stutter. Anyway, she bought it. She
hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek and the next thing I
know the three of us are heading over to her place."
"She took her clothes
off. He took his off. I could feel her lips and mouth on my penis.
Not that it needed it to make it hard. She asked him to reciprocate,
and he didn't want to. It was unfair, but I played my part and tried
to get him to do it. I don't think he was really dead set against
it. I think he didn't know what to do."
"The next thing
I know, I have my face between her legs." Here Sandra blushed
and paused.
Megan who had been looking
at her wide-eyed for the last half hour finally came to her senses,
"You look like you can use some tea. Do you want me to make
you some?"
Sandra nodded and went
on with her story, "I'm not gay," she explained. "But
there I was aroused and attracted by another girl's pussy. I also
found out that she uses some kind of perfume on it. I never thought
of that. Anyway, neither Billy or I had any experience with this
sort of thing."
"At least I knew
what to look for. I would think that with as much as boys think
about sex, they'd know where to find a girl's clitoris. I felt myself
nudging him upwards. I couldn't believe I was doing this. Part of
me was repulsed by doing it with another woman, yet part of me was
turned on by it."
"Don't get me wrong.
If other girls want to do each other, that's OK. It's just not for
me. I can say that now that the helmet is off and I'm free of Billy,
but I was really enjoying it last night. I'm so confused that I
don't even know if I feel guilty about it."
"Anyway, together
Billy and I seemed to make Jessica very happy with our performance.
I felt good for her and proud of my role in giving her an orgasm.
I think I convinced Billy that cunnilingus can be a fun thing for
a boy to do too!"
Megan tried to make her
feel better, "Well, it's not like your actual tongue was in
her pussy."
Sandra ignored her, "I
was amazed that the whole time I stayed erected. It was actually
beginning to feel uncomfortable: a sort of full sensation, a little
like just before I have my period."
"Then he gets to
kissing her. I wouldn't kiss a guy that just went down on me. But
she stick her tongue in his mouth. He got into position. She grabbed
his penis and rubbed it at her opening. I almost came right there
and had to back off. She nibbled at my neck and then stuck her tongue
in my ear. Man did that turn me on! I have to remember that trick."
"I felt a little
better so I tried to enter her again. It felt so warm in there.
It felt so funny too being the one putting something in rather than
having something put into me. Then it happened: Bang! Before I knew
what happened I was cumming. I lost control. I think Billy lost
control too. I had no idea where I was. I think I never released.
I think I might have been trapped. I felt all aglow and scared at
the same time."
"Jessica was disappointed.
I know she couldn't have gotten enough stimulation to have an orgasm.
She was as wet as I've ever gotten so there was almost no friction,
and Billy wasn't in her long enough to do any good. I never did
it with a boy that did it this fast."
"I tried to get
him to go down on her again, but he was much more resistant this
time. He played with her with his fingers. I still had to show him
where it was. Don't they teach boys anything in sex-ed?"
"Anyway, Billy rolled
over and drifted off. I was able to disengage. I shoved the helmet
off my head and almost immediately fell asleep."
Megan was totally flabbergasted
at this point, "Man, you were like totally in control of your
implant."
"I wouldn't say
so. I think at most I was able to inhibit an inhibition. I think
it was I who broke down his resistance to providing oral services.
However, when I wanted him to do it again on a dirty vagina, I couldn't
make him do it. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't do it either.
I don't know whose wishes I was following then."
"Girl, you have
got to teach me how to do that. I'm making good progress with Jason,
but nothing like that."
"I ... I don't know.
I mean, I don't know what to tell you. I think you'll have to hook
up for a long period of time like I did."
"I'll take that
chance. I would give anything to know how boys really think."
"Well, I don't think
I'd be doing it again soon. I'm so tired. I think I'm going to have
to learn how to control myself a little more before I try it again."
"Yourself?"
Megan asked.
"Yeah. It's kind
of like when you're partly asleep and you're dreaming, only you
know that you are dreaming. Sometimes you know what's dream and
what isn't. If you wake up too much, the illusion vanishes. If you
relax control too much, you wind up dreaming but it becomes real,
and you don't know you're dreaming anymore. I get the feeling that
what I need to do when I'm in my implant is to separate his feelings
and thoughts from mine."
"He's the dream.
I'm the reality. I have to learn how to walk the tightrope to keep
both alive at the same time."
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