Chapter
2
But I remembered that
damn counting issue. It cost me 25 whacks with the paddle. What
if I did something else wrong? Would there be 25 more? I don't think
I could take any more. How could she just leave me like this? Here
I was dependent on her instructions. The realization hit me like
a ton of bricks. Dependent without guidance. Just like the support
staff at the firm. I reflected on the notion and the parallels for
a long moment.
Just as quickly, I switched
thoughts and feelings as I realized that here I was naked, gripping
a cage after receiving a sound spanking. I felt a little like a
child and wondered if that was the whole point. Damn it was just
too confusing. After a long wait - it must have been five minutes
or so. I decided to risk it and get up from my vulnerable position.
My hands went involuntarily
to my very sore butt and tried to rub away the sting. Surprisingly,
it seemed to work as the intensity of the sting ebbed away like
the proverbial wave on a beach. It reminded me of when you grab
something hot and feel that intense burn and then let it ebb away.
I saw my reflection in
the mirror and couldn't help but turn around to view the damage
Terri had done to my bottom. It was very red. Both cheeks had identical
circles of crimson. I found the sight strangely fascinating as I
continued to massage away the pain of the spanking. I located some
water to relieve my parched throat and began to feel somewhat better.
Standing there however, I felt a strong sense of uncertainty. What
was I to do next? Just stand here like a bump. I always have something
going on. I never just stand around. It was as very uncomfortable
feeling.
I waited for over 30
minutes. Still nothing from Terri. It was most disconcerting. Then
the door opened. Terri reappeared, still like a vision in my eyes.
My manhood responded immediately. I don't usually react this way.
I guess it was my nakedness, her sexiness, her control, the spanking
- but my cock was growing in response to her just walking into the
room. I didn't know whether to try and hide it, display it or what.
Terri solved my dilemma
by being totally indifferent. Neither noticing my erection, nor
avoiding it. She looked me in the eye and said "I hope you
enjoyed your break Eric, let's get back to work." I actually
felt her words on my bottom. I became very aware of the lingering
sting of the recent spanking. Terri walked over to the straight-backed
chair on the side of the room and sat down. She looked up at me
with those big steely blue eyes.
"You are in a powerful
position within the firm Eric. You have a significant influence
over a lot of people. You can make them feel important or you can
make them feel small. You can empower or you can deflate. Have you
ever thought about that reality Eric? The way you make people feel.
The power you have over the lives of others. It is a very important
responsibility Eric. One of the most important in fact."
"I know your type
Eric. You are a controlling person. Always in control of your projects,
your meetings, your staff and even your processes. You judge others
based on your own perspective of how things should be done. It's
hard to empower others when you're always telling them what to do
and how to do it. You need to learn to trust and to give up control
so that other may learn to figure out problems for themselves."
I recognized the truth
contained within her lecture. I was always in control of circumstances.
In fact, I take a lot of pride in that fact. Although I didn't feel
in control now. Standing naked before this goddess. A prisoner to
whatever whim she might have. Being lectured in this way - in this
position made me feel small and childish.
"Come here Eric."
She pointed to her side. I stood there next to her catching that
delicious scent of a woman. "I want you to lay over my knees
Eric. Like a bad boy who needs a lesson."
It was one thing to position
myself over the cage. Somewhat manly in fact. But over the knee,
that's what happens to little kids, not to me. However, there was
nothing I could do but obey. I positioned myself across her lap.
My body touching the silky smoothness of her legs. With surprising
strength Terri positioned me over her lap with my bottom as the
fulcrum. I felt very exposed. I was aware of my position and aware
of my bottom. I felt very vulnerable.
Terri's left arm held
me in position as she stroked my butt with her right hand. Her touch
was exciting and pleasant. A situation that I realized would soon
change.
Without a word the spanking
began. SPANK! Her hand came down. SPANK on the other side. SPANK.
SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. Slow and rhythmic in tempo. Hard
but not hurting, even though my bottom was still very sore from
the previous treatment. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK.
Terri increased her pace. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK.
It was nothing compared
to the paddle treatment an hour ago. Hard enough to keep my attention,
but not really a punishing spanking. Terri's spanks were slow. The
sting of her hand had time to ebb before the next one landed. My
focus was not on the pain of the spanking, but on the position.
Over her knee - being spanked like a child. It was more a feeling
of degradation and correction, than punishment and pain. Being controlled.
It was definitely about control. She had it all, and I knew it.
Terri kept up the pace
of the spanking. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. And it began to take
its toll. My bottom started to sting. Terri was a strong woman.
I found myself moving my bottom involuntarily after each blow. SPANK
(squirm). SPANK (move). SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. They started coming
faster now, leaving me little time for recuperation. SPANK. SPANK.
SPANK. SPANK. SPANK.
My breathing increased
again. Each spank leaving a compounded and lingering sting on my
butt. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. And then she stopped.
For a moment I just lay
there over her knee. The after sting of the combined spankings still
lingering. I felt like a schoolboy being corrected by the teacher.
"Eric this spanking is hurting my hand." She lectured
as I lay across her lap. "I want you to go to that cabinet
over there and pick out a nice hairbrush for your spanking."
I couldn't believe my
ears. Here I was being spanked like a kid and now I had to pick
out a brush - which I knew would hurt immensely. Terri pointed to
the cabinet in the corner as I picked myself up off her lap. I knew
she was assessing my reddened rear as I walked across the room.
I felt very humiliated.
I opened the cabinet
and there were seven or eight different hairbrushes hanging on hooks.
Long handles, short handles, thick ones, long ones. Which to choose.
And what would happen to me if I picked the wrong one. I finally
selected a short, wide hairbrush of blond wood. The back was smooth
and flat. I brought it back to Terri and presented it for her inspection.
"And now you must
ask me to spank you Eric. And you must ask me nicely." I looked
at her in shock, but she was unmoving. She stared back with impatient
expectation. I could hardly utter a sound, and when I did it sounded
weak and far away as if belonging to someone else. I am normally
a very confident person with a commanding tone developed over years
of practice. At the moment, however, I didn't feel very confident.
I muttered softly "will
you spank me Terri." "What's that Eric. I couldn't hear
you." Did I say it right? Was I respectful enough? I tried
again. "Please Terri will you spank me?" She stared back
at me expectedly. "I would be most grateful if you would teach
me a lesson." I continued, surprised at my own voice and what
I was saying.
"Why should I spank
you Eric?" I was floored by the question and confused on how
to answer. But I knew that I had better respond. "I have abused
my position at the firm and have made others feel bad about themselves.
I have been haughty and arrogant. I have believed that the ends
justified the means." It felt like confession. Once started,
it began to flow. It felt good to confess my transgressions out
loud. "I'm in a position where I should have known better.
And it's not the first time I have treated people this way. I deserve
your punishment for my behavior."
"And you shall have
it" Terri stated with precision. "This time I want you
to lay over one knee Eric. With your hands and feet on the floor."
I was quick to obey.
I lay over her knee with both hands firmly on the ground. Terri's
free leg was over mine - in effect pinning me in position. It was
a humbling position. My butt was on display and ready for the punishment
I knew Terri was about to inflict. To add to the insult, Terri began
to lecture on the importance of obedience and her expectations of
me with this spanking. I felt humiliated and more than a little
afraid.
And then it began. The
first spank landed with a loud crack, followed immediately with
another on the opposite side. The sting was sharp and intense. Terri
paused for a moment to let the reality sink in. SPANK. SPANK. I
let out an exhausted breadth with each blow. Cringing to the sting.
SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. Six quick blows, that
felt like a thousand bee stings, as each culminated on the other.
SPANK. SPANK. Slower
and more methodical as if Terri knew that I couldn't take the brutal
punishment of continual blows. SPANK. SPANK. Terri moved the brush
around on my bottom, covering every inch of my exposed flesh. SPANK.
SPANK. Little time to recover on one spot before the brush found
another. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK.
Tears began to wheal
in my eyes with the punishment of Terri's spanking. SPANK. SPANK.
Even pinned in position, I was moving my hips trying in vain to
avoid the pain. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. No part of my exposed bottom
was left untouched. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. Tears were flowing freely
now. Streaming down my cheeks. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK.
I lifted my tortured
bottom off her knee as an involuntary response to her treatment.
SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. The fight was going out from my body. I was
surrendering to the inevitability of my spanking. SPANK. SPANK.
SPANK. I collapsed across her knee. SPANK. SPANK. I was crying like
a baby. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. I could do nothing more except wince.
How much more could she have planned. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK.
My bottom felt like it was literally on fire.
SPANK. SPANK. SPANK.
The sting was constant. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. It was even hard to
tell the pain of the spank from the lingering sting of the previous.
SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. I started to mutter out loud. "Please
stop. Ow. Ow. No more please." SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. "I'm
sorry, oh please." SPANK. SPANK. "Ow. Ow. Uh." SPANK.
SPANK.
My bottom felt huge like
it was the only part of my body in existence. SPANK. SPANK. Terri
moved me back into position over her knee. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK.
The momentary respite did nothing to relieve the sting of her treatment.
SPANK. SPANK. SPANK.
My face contorted in
response to every blow of that cursed hairbrush. The sting spread
like a wildfire across every inch of my bottom. I lay panting and
sobbing across her knee. A moment went by without another spank.
And then another moment. Could it be over?
I jumped as Terri placed
her hand on my tortured bottom. Placed, not spanked. The silky feel
of her hand was in blessed contrast to the sharp and continual sting
of the brush. Terri rubbed my soreness, helping ever so slightly
to reduce the lingering pain of the past few moments. The sensation
was so exquisitely pleasurable, if only because it wasn't a spank.
Terri continued to massage my butt, the initial sting seemingly
drawn out through her hand. No amount of rubbing however would reduce
the lingering sting of such a sound spanking. My bottom felt like
it was glowing. I became aware of a sustainable throb - a pointed
reminder of the spanking.
Terri told me to rise.
I stood before her waiting for my next instruction. My pride was
broken completely. I was a humble and obedient man. It seemed so
natural to be under her control. Not at all like my true controlling
nature.
Terri grabbed my wrist
and led me to a waiting table. She pushed me over so my chest was
laying flat on the table. My butt was again positioned as the center
of focus. Not another spanking. She couldn't be so cruel. I lay
there in terror. I needed some time to recover. Oh please, I thought
to myself. Please have mercy.
I felt Terri's presence
behind me. I braced myself for more punishment. Except this time,
I felt a cool silky sensation. Glorious, blissful, soothing. Terri
was rubbing some sort of cream onto my stinging bottom. The sensation
was incredibly blissful. The cream was so soothing. A coolness swept
over my bottom, extinguishing the fire that had so recently been
my own personal torment.
I collapsed on the table.
As much a prisoner to the relief as I was to the paddling. I found
myself moaning ever so slightly at her touch. "You were well
behaved Eric." Her unexpected voice a startling moment. "I'm
sorry I had to be so cruel." Her voice was soft yet still firm
as she continued to rub my stinging bottom. "You're lucky you
know." I didn't feel so lucky with the way she expertly paddled
my ass. "In that my cruelty is only a temporary thing. Your
pain will soon fade. There is not going to be any permanent damage.
What happened to you was just a spanking. It's not the same with
the others Eric. They live with your cruelty deep in their own sense
of self-worth."
I didn't know what was
worse the sting of her brush or the new sting in the reality of
her words. I never thought of myself as cruel, but I realized the
truth in what she said. The feeling I had was one of humiliation.
Not at the spanking, but at the way I treated the people who worked
with and for me at the firm.
"I'm going to leave
you alone for a while Eric. I've prepared some refreshments - some
fruit, cheese, bread, drink. I'd like you to think about these things
while I'm gone. We'll continue when I return."
Terri left the room quickly
and without another word. I picked myself up off the desk with the
cool feel of the lotion easing the sting of my very sore bottom.
A rolling waiter's table with a white tablecloth contained covered
trays of food. Bottles of water were nestled in an ice chest. I
found myself surprisingly thirsty and downed one of the bottles
without a pause. I was surprised how famished I was as I lifted
the tray tops. Apples, grapes, peeled oranges, cantaloupes under
one. Assorted cheeses under the other. A loaf of French bread. I
began to nibble at the offering and then to eat with gusto. As first
the food was a total diversion. As my hunger was satiated my thoughts
drifted to my situation and the strangeness of my recent experiences.
I couldn't resist examining
my bottom and was surprised at the deep crimson color reflected
in the mirror. The sting of the spanking still blazing from my flesh
combined with the stiffness in my thighs and butt muscles. There
were two kinds of pain. The surface sting of the spanking, and the
deeper ache of the paddle. I was surprised that my bottom was normal
size because it felt huge.
The normalness of my
body reflected in the mirror caused me to pause and think. My boss
sent me to this program. These lessons are obviously important to
the firm. I didn't think I was that much of a prick to the employees.
I could always justify, in my own mind, the validity of my actions
and the incompetence of others. I had grown very skilled at that
art. Perhaps insisting, or maybe just hoping, that others would
recognize the stupidity of their approach and change was a fool's
gamut. The truth was that I had alienated a lot of people. Folks
trusted me to get the job done - and get it done right - but few
wanted to work with me. I reflected on the truth of how difficult
it is to be a leader, if none want to follow you. Being right is
not the end game. Getting the job done is - and the truth is we
all need to work together if we want to get the job done. The unanswered
question in my own mind was how do we get everyone to want to work
together.
Funny how that question
- when finally uttered clearly - opened floodgates of ideas and
images of situations where I could have acted differently to affect
the outcome. I played the fantasy game for a long while - caught
up in the excitement of discovery. I seemingly lost track of time
until Terri reappeared. I felt a slight sting in my butt at the
sight of Terri. Long after the sharpness of the spanking had diminished.
I unconsciously thought of Pavlov and secretly smiled at the reference.
"I was re-reading
your file over lunch Eric. It seems you have a somewhat long history
of - how should I put it - employee relations problems. In fact
it paints a rather cruel picture of how you treat others, particularly
those you don't think perform well. You probably know deep down
inside you that you need to do a better job of motivating others.
The problem is it doesn't happen. I've been trying to think of a
way to get you to remember these lessons Eric - and I think I have
a solution. The key is for you to take personal accountability of
not only the results of your activities, but also of your team.
In essence, your team's failure is your failure. And by the references
in your file, you've failed miserably over the years."
"Think about that
Eric, the performance of others, their attitude, their motivation
and their commitment to the job is one of your primary functions.
The team is only as strong as its weakest link - and you are personally
accountable for that weak link. The reality is these weak links
are getting weaker. You have failed in this arena."
Terri's words stung more
than the paddle. ME - a failure! That's not possible. I never fail
because I can't stand failure. It's my one cursed motivation - my
driver, my source of inspiration. But the reality was getting to
me. Success is not about me; it's about the firm. It's true; I can't
live in my own personal world. I am responsible for all the others
as well as myself. A notion I still find personally distasteful.
I've always acted as if I could ignore - or worse berate - those
other morons and still succeed. In fact, the problems caused by
others have injured our firm. And I really was partly (maybe even
mostly) to blame. I was devastated by the realization.
"How do you feel
about the failure Eric? How are we going to reinforce this essential
lesson?" I didn't like the sound of her voice. I knew it meant
the paddle and I knew it would be a terrible punishment. I just
stood there starring blankly.
" I asked you a
question Eric and I expect an answer - immediately! Don't make me
have to warn you again. You will receive an additional punishment
for your haughtiness."
I was stunned. I started
stammering and stuttering in that flustered way kids do when caught
red handed in some juvenile act. "The truth is I feel ashamed
and dejected." I finally muttered. "Everything you've
said is true. I have failed and I was replaying the result of my
failure in my mind. I never realized it before. I've wasted a lot
of time and unfortunately more than a few staff with my own selfish
actions. The truth is I feel embarrassed about myself."
That's very good Eric.
But not good enough. I know your type. You'll honestly feel bad
for a moment or two, but you'll soon forget and return to your old
ways. We need to reinforce this lesson.
Somehow I knew what she
meant about reinforce, as I became acutely aware of my still stinging
bottom. I sighed involuntarily, silently acknowledging my acceptance
of her next round of punishment. "I want you to go to that
cabinet and bring back the two paddles hanging in the top corner."
Terri maintained in an even, professional, almost bored manner.
I hurried to comply and quickly scampered back with the identical
paddles. They were black leather and had a bit of heft to them.
No doubt they would become hated implements in a matter of moments.
I extended them back
to Terri and was surprised as her cobalt blue eyes met mine in a
hard stare. "No Eric. They are not for me. You brought this
problem on yourself. You are responsible and you shall be the one
to dole out the punishment."
It took me a moment to
understand what she meant - and I couldn't believe it. She wants
me to spank myself. No. She couldn't mean that. It had to be some
sore of joke. "You've got to be kidding." I blurted out.
"You can't be serious."
Terri slapped me hard
across the face. Her eyes narrowed. You could see the anger in her
demeanor. "Why you impudent little … you've just earned
yourself six strokes with the cane. I take my management training
very seriously. I never kid." There is no better way to reinforce
this lesson. And I expect you to do a sound and thorough job. You
do not want to risk my wrath. If you do, I guarantee it will be
much worse."
I stood there dumbfounded.
I knew she was serious, but I couldn't believe it. But there she
was staring at me patiently but very intently. "You will bend
over to ensure solid contact. I also want you to look me in the
eye as you spank yourself. Do I make myself clear."
The only thing I could
do was nod my head in ascent and stare at the paddle I held in each
hand.
"Well get on with
it."
I bent forward, look
at Terri with pleading eyes, raised the paddle with my left hand
and brought it down squarely on my already sore bottom with a solid
SMACK. And it stung like hell. I winced in response. I raised the
paddle with my right hand and hesitated before I brought it down.
It was torment to have to inflict such pain on myself. It was one
thing to be held down and spanked by someone else because it's clear
you are not in control. It's quite another thing to do it to yourself.
WHACK! The second stinging
blow brought a tear to my eye. But Terri just starred at me with
silent expectation. Neither approval nor disappointment on her face.
WHACK! With the left.
Wince. WHAM! With the right. Gasp. I raised the paddle again and
brought my tortured butt forward in an attempt to dodge my own blows
even as the paddle fell. Even so, the connection was agony. Again
with the right. WHACK! With the left.
My spanks were hard enough
to hurt a lot even though I was slow and methodical in their delivery.
I allowed myself a few seconds to recover between blows. But that
was not the worst of it. The terrible, horrible, part was knowing
when I was going to spank myself. And knowing that the blow would
hurt. And forcing myself to continue one after the other. And to
have to look Terri in the eye while I did it. My male pride forced
me to be brave. All I would allow myself is a wince and a groan.
It was so incredibly hard to bear up and self inflict punishment
at the same time.
"Faster Eric. I
want you to spank yourself faster and harder. After all, you deserve
it. We both know it. Don't we?"
I hated her at that moment.
I loathed this beautiful, sexy, stunning woman who controlled me
and held such power over me. My eyes burned with revenge because
I knew I had to comply. SPANK (left). SPANK (right). SPANK (left).
"Ow, damn, shit." SPANK (right). Wince. SPANK (left).
I kept up a steady rhythm as long as I could. SPANK (right). SPANK
(left). Tears rolled down from my eyes. My bottom was on fire. The
sting sharp and constant. SPANK (right). SPANK (left). I was crying
out loudly with each blow. "Ah. Ow. Shit. Oh. Ow." As
if I could lesson the pain with my cries. SPANK (right). SPANK (left).
SPANK (right). SPANK (left). I was involuntary trying to dodge my
own blows - but ever aware that Terri was watching to make sure
I did it right.
SPANK (right). Spank
(left). WHACK (right). I began to bawl like a child -- and beg for
mercy. "Please let me stop." SPANK (left). "I can't
take any more." SPANK (right). "Oh god, please."
SPANK (left). Uh! Spank (right). I was sobbing uncontrollably even
as I pleaded with Terri to stop this psychological and physical
torture. SPANK (left). Uh, oh jeez. SPANK (right). The pained look
on my face must have softened her resolve as she uttered the most
magnificent words one could hope to hear.
"OK Eric, that's
enough. You did a good job and I'm satisfied."
My bottom continued to
sting with such intensity that I found only a limited relief in
stopping. I continued to sob silently. I dropped the paddles and
held onto my burning bottom. My own touch was both ecstasy and agony.
I couldn't help myself and started hopping around the room moving
from one leg to the other - in some way hoping to shake off the
lingering sting of the spanking.
Terri stood patiently
by as I gyrated around the floor. After many moments she walked
over to the sink and filled it with cold water.
"Wash your face
Eric. We're almost done. The only thing left if the additional punishment
you earned for your arrogant remarks earlier. I will return shortly."
She calmly walked out
of the room as the horror of her words struck home. Additional punishment.
It wasn't possible. No one could be that cruel. She had been beating
my ass since early this morning. She must have mercy. I walked over
to the sink and washed the tears from my eyes. I was still breathing
heavy as it I just finished running a race.
The water felt magnificent
and helped calm me down a little. I dipped my hands in the cool
water and gently placed them on my stinging bottom. The feeling
was indescribably delicious. It seemed to be literally putting out
the fire that I myself was forced to ignite. I dipped again hoping
to extinguish my agony - of course to no avail.
Since Terri seemed to
be giving me a momentary respite, I risked a glance at the mirror.
My bottom was a deep crimson - almost purple in color. White splotches
were clearly visible as well. It looked so completely unnatural
as to be surreal. I found myself staring at my tortured bottom for
quite some time. In fact, I was truly amazed and entranced by the
image.
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