"Hello, my name
Oh well, never mind, you wouldn't be able to pronounce
it anyway. Why don't you just call me George." He
whatever, extended a tentacle to me. I took it tentatively.
It felt kind of rough
a lot like sharkskin.
"So, err George,"
what is it you want to know?" I asked.
"Sexual mating rituals,"
"Oh, I am sorry."
my tentacled friend replied, "We know much of your language,
but little of your culture. That is why we are here. I didn't mean
to offer offense.
I shrugged. "It's just that sex is a very private thing on
George nodded the appendage
I took for its head. I took that as a sign of understanding. "On
our planet, we have no sex. People are born pregnant, if you will.
There is no need for insemination - only incubation and birth. We
find your method of reproduction most interesting. The physical
aspects of reproduction are well understood. What we don't understand
is the social interaction between the sexes of your species that
accompany the physical act of copulation. I have been sent to investigate
the ritual called spanking. Others have assignments in oral sex,
bondage, and many other aspects of the sexual experience that we
have read about in your documentation on the topic; which I must
say is impressively extensive."
In defense of homo sapiens
everywhere I said, "Well, it is important to the continuation
of our race."
George cleared his throat
and continued. "You were identified as an expert in spanking.
"Me? How can that
be? I mean I have an interest
"Your name is prominent
in those archives called soc.sexuality.spanking."
"Oh," I said
with sudden comprehension.
"What we don't understand
is how a disciplinary action - something that is intended to deter
children from behaving in certain ways - can be used as an erotic
"Well, it's kind
of hard to explain," I fumbled. "Let me ask you a question
- do you people even have asses?"
"Well, we have a
means of waste elimination, but it is not at all comparable to the
primitive system we've observed in the mammalian order on this planet."
"It's a shame. Tushies
are very nice things to have. You can sit on them, you can kiss
them, you can kick them, or you can spank them. Some are just so
spankable. Don't you have anything like it at all
in your culture?"
sense things the way you do. What you would call our
skin senses much in the same way your ears hear. I understand that
there is a similar phenomenon among you humans. Some of you claim
to be able to 'feel' sounds. Both senses work on similar principles.
Impressions are made and our brains interpret them, but we don't
feel pain or warmth or any other of the sensations you do."
I replied, "when I'm spanked, I sometimes 'see stars.' Some
of my partners say the same thing when I spank them. One thing all
of us feel when being spanked is warmth. Sometimes it feels too
"We've done measurements
on that." George responded. "There is a physiological
explanation for it as blood tends to rush to the irritated area
to heal the wound. There is also some minimal energy transfer as
the spanking implement makes contact with the skin. However, there
is no way that this blood could exceed normal body temperature,
and the energy generated in a typical spanking in an hour would
almost be enough to raise a liter of water one degree Celsius, so
your assessment of 'too hot' does not make sense."
"Well, I said it
feels like it is too hot. There may be more than just physiology
at work here."
Again there was a waving
of the head appendage.
"We noticed that
too. According to your literature, there is a thing called 'the
lecture' that very often goes along with a spanking. We can understand
its purpose with a recalcitrant child, but it's role in spanking
among adults remains obscure."
I laughed, "I guess
you have to be there."
boomed, "Would it be considered too 'kinky' if we conducted
an experiment with you as a spanker, and me as a spankee?"
"How are we going
to do that, George? You just told me you guys don't have tushes.
Besides, I don't 'do' other men."
"Just not my style,"
"I'll have to tell
my associates about this. Apparently there is a lot of cross interests
working on several levels in these mating rituals. Anyway, I am
hardly 'other men.' As I mentioned before, sex among us doesn't
really exist. If you insist on putting a gender on me, then since
I am capable of producing offspring from my body, I could be considered
"Well, don't expect
to be in a centerfold spread of Playboy," I chuckled.
George didn't bat an
assuming George had eyes. Nonetheless, I decided to make
an attempt to think of George as "Georgie Girl."
After some moments hesitation,
George responded with, "We have a whole army of analysis working
on this thing you call humor. I make the assumption that your last
statement was intended to be humorous. I noticed the difference
between the purpose of Playboy magazine which is to portray what
is considered by your experts to be physically attractive females,
and my physical appearance which can be considered either comical
or ugly. I realize now that I was not intended to take your comments
as serious advice."
George took a breath
and went on, "We have something similar in our culture, but
I don't think we would 'get' each other's 'jokes" - as I believe
you call them."
"It's a shame,"
I replied, "Laughter is a great way to release emotions. Just
like crying is."
"Don't mistake me,"
George answered, "We can laugh
" She let out a cackling
"Don't bother, George,
it doesn't do anything for you."
"I am glad you bring
out the point of laughing and crying. You say that both are good
for the emotions. Spanking induces crying sometimes. Can we say
that spanking is some sort of therapy?"
"I've never thought
of it that way." I responded. "I could get my PHD - Please
Hit Derriere - in Spankology."
George let out with a
noise that sounded like a low rumbling fart. The tone told me it
was the equivalent of a groan.
exclaimed, "refrain from any further attempts at humor. It
only gets in the way of the investigation."
"I can't help it,"
I explained. "It's just part of who I am."
"Let's do get back
to the topic at hand. Spanking and the release of emotion, and the
whole matter of 'lecturing' while spanking."
I guess it was time for
me to get serious. "The whole thing about spanking is very
complex. I don't know why it is, but women seem to like to get spanked
more than men. Or perhaps they like to get spanked for different
"Some women, in
our culture, tend to hang onto a fantasy of being 'daddy's little
girl.' It was a time in their lives when they were innocent, and
protected, and loved unconditionally by their fathers. Also it was
a time when 'daddy' traditionally meted out corporal punishment
when it was needed."
"Spanking is one
way that parents give attention to their children. It may be negative
attention, but it is attention. To a child that gets no attention
at all, it may be considered a positive thing. To a child this is
brought up in a loving and secure environment, it may be considered
just a part of that environment. I really don't know, George, I'm
an engineer, not a psychiatrist."
"Did I say something
funny?" I asked.
"I'm an engineer,
not a psychiatrist," George responded, "Don't you get
"I'm afraid not."
George did a strikingly
accurate imitation of DeForest Kelly's voice, "Goddamit, Jim,
I'm a doctor not a
It was my turn to groan.
"You're right, we're not going to get each other's jokes."
I cleared my throat,
"Anyway, I think people are conditioned to think of spanking
as attention. It's attention that they get for doing something wrong.
Doing something wrong is something to be ashamed of. Also spanking
is associated with childhood. Being treated like a child, being
'demoted' out of adulthood is also a very shameful experience. Shame
is a very powerful emotion."
"People like to
release their emotions. It makes them feel good. People laugh, yell,
scream, throw objects, and do all kinds of things just to get out
their emotions. Some people take a more subtle route: they work
out, dance, write or paint. But emotions have to come out or they
will burn you up."
George waved that appendage
again and said, "Interesting. Tell me more." He put two
tentacles together in a tent-like pose. I could almost picture him
with a mustache and goatee as a psychiatrist sitting in a chair
across from his patient. The only thing missing was the notebook.
"Well, I think that
explains it. The lecture is an important part of the spanking. It
builds up the shameful emotion. She is a bad girl. She did a silly
thing. She disobeyed her daddy's orders. She deserves to be spanked
and so on."
"Spanking her gives
her a release. It allows her to 'make up" for being a bad girl.
She has a way to let her emotions out, and this allows her to accept
my emotions in return. I offer her love and acceptance. I accept
her after I spank her. There is a kind of reconciliation between
us. This sets up another whole set of emotions in her which she
can release through lovemaking."
After a moment of silence,
I reflected, "Spanking intensifies the lovemaking experience."
George waved her head
"I'm afraid I'll
never completely understand this concept," she sighed.
you can't experience it." I added.
George contemplated this
for a while. "I was wondering if I could ask you a favor,"
George asked. "I can make myself appear in any form I choose
to you. Should I appear to you as a young woman, for example, would
you spank me on what I will make appear to you as a very 'spankable
tushie' to use your terminology?"
As I hesitated, "George" transformed itself into a much
more pleasant vision: a young woman, early 30's, I'd judge. Then
I recognized her. I saw her earlier in the day. She wasn't what
you would call a centerfold model, but she was pleasant looking
with a face that was engaging rather than pretty. She wasn't voluptuous
by any means, but what she had seemed to look just right on her
body. Her rear end was just slightly plump
the way I like
The problem was that
she was totally naked.
She smiled at me, "Hi,
I couldn't help noticing that you were looking at me." George's
voice suddenly became feminine. I never spoke to this woman, but
this is exactly how I imagined how her voice would sound.
I hemmed, "You have no clothes on."
"We don't use clothes
where I come from unless we have to. The environment here is benign
enough. Besides, I thought it would be quicker this way."
"Well, it would
be quicker, but part of the fun is pulling up a girl's skirt and
pulling down her panties."
The girl looked back
at me, and for whatever studies they did on us, was able to portray
a genuine confused look."
I went on to explain,
"Being naked is embarrassing enough. Getting naked is more
embarrassing. It is not logical, but it is often true."
George (Georgette? -
yes, she was most definitely feminine enough to be called "Georgette")
giggled. "Why Mr. Spock, you intrigue me. I find that concept,
Apparently these creatures
must have watched way too many Star Trek reruns on their way in
from wherever it is they came. However what "fascinated"
me was the way Georgette was flirting with me. There was a slight
cock of her head that denoted coyness, but a twinkle in her eye
that said, "imp."
"Oh well, I guess
we'll have to skip the preliminaries then and get onto the spanking.
The problem is, we don't have a scenario."
she said standing before me, single finger pushing down her lower
"Yes, a 'causis
belli' - a reason to be spanked. Just what did you do, you naughty
girl, and where are your clothes?" I suggested.
"Oh," she said,
lighting up her eyes with sudden comprehension. "I don't know
what it is about me. I just have this silly habit of wanting to
show my body to men. Whenever I see a good-looking guy, I just have
to take my clothes off for him. I know I'm such a dirty girl, but
I just can't help myself."
I stoked my goatee pensively
as I surveyed that nice body. "That's a very bad habit you
have young lady." (Why do all women become 'young ladies' when
they are being lectured?). "I'll have to take matters in my
own hands to teach you how to behave yourself."
Georgette wiggled, "Ohh,
yes, I am a bad girl. Do you think you can teach me how to behave?"
Taking her by the wrist,
I pulled her over my lap. I noticed that the skin was silky and
not at all like what I had grasped before. She followed my lead
and offered no resistance. I felt compelled to point this out. "Very
good, you're catching on fast. Sometimes as a variation, though
you might want to put up some token resistance. Let the man win
and get you over his lap, but you might experience a certain thrill
by being overpowered."
let out with cat-like contentness. "You're lap is so comfortable."
"Well, it won't
be for long!" I said, landing my first slap on her luscious
left cheek. I was taken back a little as I felt like I was hitting
skin stretched over concrete. "Stop clenching, I told her."
My next spank met flesh with some resilience.
I explained things to
her, "This is just a warm-up. It's too bad I don't have my
paddle or my flogger with me."
"Oh," she exclaimed,
"We've anticipated that. In that box next to you is probably
any kind of 'toy' - I think you call them - you could want."
I opened the box to find
an assortment of paddles, floggers, straps and canes. I picked out
a nice, lightweight paddle with a lot of surface area. "Yes,
this will do nicely," I thought to myself.
WHHHAP. The swish of
the paddle sounded so nice in my ears.
The reaction from Georgette
was different. "Oooh, do that again. This time at a higher
had to ask.
"I don't know how
to describe it. When you were hitting me with your hand, it 'felt'
like what beating on a drum would 'sound' like. The paddle 'feels'
like a cymbal."
I searched around the
box for other implements and experimented on her rear end with just
about everything. The cane 'felt' like a piccolo to her, the sand-filled
rubber hose was like a blast from a tuba.
It seemed that if I knew
what I was doing, or if she could write down what she felt in terms
of musical notes; that we could compose a spanking symphony. The
'stingers' were high pitched instruments, and the 'thudders' provide
bass. Loudness, naturally, was a function of how hard I hit. Where
I hit produced different harmonics, so a switch to the bottom of
the buttocks was more like a piano at high-C while the same switch
aimed higher sounded more like a violin.
I am sure that to Georgette,
it felt like cacophony. I have no musical talent, and I think that
even the most experienced musician would need some time to learn
this new instrument.
Somewhere along the way,
Georgette started wiggling. "Good," I thought, "She
must have learned somewhere that wiggling and leg kicking are expected
behavior for a spanked girl." I had quick flashes of what Georgette
looked like while she was George, but they were on the twilight
edge of my consciousness.
I was at her spanking
for at least a half hour, trying the various implements, and asking
her to describe how she heard them. I looked down at Georgette's
ass. It was still lilly-white. "George
going to have to learn how to show some marks. A guy likes to look
at his 'handy work' sometimes."
"Maybe next time,"
Georgette got up. "Thank
you for that experience. I know I couldn't react like a real woman,
but you made the whole subject sound so fascinating, I just had
to try it. You even triggered off the reflex that sometimes accompanies
the onset of pregnancy in us. At least that's what it felt like,
only without the
well, I can't explain it, but take my word
for it, it was a pleasurable experience. I had a tough time keeping
up with your illusion."
"Glad to be of service,"
Georgette bowed her head
a little and frowned, "I thank you for an experience I will
never forget. I know why your women like this activity. Now, I think
it's best if you leave now. I don't think you want to be around
when I change back."
She was right. I grabbed
my jacket and opened the door. Looking back through the closing
door, I could see Georgette standing there, back to me with pink