was a dark and stormy knight. "Really, Sir Spankalot, the Crusades
are over. Be at peace and ease thy burden in my bosom!" I begged.
"Begone with thee,
wench!" he snorted back. "Before I take hand against thee
and smite thy arse."
"Oh thou and whose
legends?" I thought, but a woman knows her place here in the
enlightened 13th century. Instead I said, "Mayhaps milord wouldst
like some grog to ease his tense muscles?"
"Ah, that would
be a fitting thing," he bellowed.
"And mayhaps milord
would like his chambermaid to rub said same tense muscles."
"Then takest off
thy armor!" What a girl has to do to get a guy out of his pants!
With the aid of block and tackle, this task was accomplished leaving
him in a scratchy woolen body suit.
I started my massage,
"Oh sire, this wool doth scratch my delicate hands. Surely
both of us wouldst enjoy the feeling of flesh upon flesh."
Swilling down a large
drought of grog, he replied, "And what kind of game art thou
willing to play?"
"Simply this, lord.
I rub thee on thy most tenderest of parts. Should thou comest before
yon cock crows, I spank thee. Shouldst thou resist, thee spanks
His bellowing laughter
shook the beams and thundered through the castle. ""Tis
a deal. It shall be done."
I grabbed hold of his
penis. I knew I needed some psychological help as well. "Oh,
what stately manifestation of manhood thou hast, milord!" I
exclaimed. It was a lie, but a girl does what a girl has to do.
I proceeded to stroke.
I could feel his organ
stiffening in my hand. He was nearly there
and then the damned
rooster got horny, popped off a hen and had to tell the whole courtyard
my knight said.
"Shalt we make it
a wee more sporting?" I asked. "Double or nothing?"
"Aye, let it all
lay on the next game," he slurred in his drunken stupor.
This time I had more
luck. (Slipping the rooster some grog helped). I had his organ squirting
like a fountain in a nonce.
"Hmm," he mused,
"it seemeth that I owe thee a spanking, and thou owes me one
in like fashion. How doth we proceed?"
I thought. "Why doth we not exchange the privilege?" I
"Aye. That is indeed
I spanked hard. He spanked
harder. No, we didn't kill each other, but that's a whole different