Shrub

"No, please, not again!" he pleaded.

"Yes again, my little shrub!" she shouted back using her pet nickname for him. "You have been 'screwing up by the numbers' again. This is the 7th year in a row that you flunked science. You've been a bad boy and somebody has to punish you."

"Aw, come on, do I have to?"

"Stop being such a baby. Stop your whining. You're a selfish, egotistical, spoiled little rich boy, and somebody has to take you down a peg or two. Now get your butt over my lap for the paddling you deserve."

He tried to hold his ground stamping his foot down, "I won't do it and you can't make me."

She was exasperated, "There's that 'I-know-better-than-everybody-else attitude that gets you in trouble all the time. Are you ever going to learn how to play nice with others? You spend money like there's an endless supply of it. You don't take care of your toys, especially you abuse your soldiers. You've shirked your responsibilities in the past."

She went on, "Personally, I don't see why anyone has put up with you as long as they have. It's no wonder you have no friends and have to go it alone on everything you do. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit I know you. I'm tired of having to apologize to everyone for you. Of course, you'd never think of apologizing for yourself. For you, it's always someone else's fault."

"Well I think it's wrong," he protested. "You're just a girl and I'm …"

"You're what?" she barked back, spreading her legs apart and placing her balled fists on her hips.

"I'm a man. Women aren't supposed to spank men. The Bible says so. It's supposed to be the other way around."

"Oh, so you've suddenly 'found religion' again? You don't even know how to spell 'Bible' yet you drag it out every time you need to make a point. It's an old tune. Please stop playing it. Everybody is tired of hearing it."

She seized him by the wrist and swung him around with his arm behind his back. With her free hand she lowered his shorts. Sitting down, she pulled him over her lap and started administering spank after spank on his vulnerable butt. When she was done, she released him and gave him a final warning.

As every husband knows, when your wife uses your full name, it's usually not a good thing. Laura's warning was, "George W., I want you to go into that corner with your hands on your head and don't come out until I tell you!"