"You don't say,
"Indeed I do. I'm
"Jesus, Mary and
Joseph," Colleen put in.
us," her sister Megan added.
The sentiment was shared
by all 9 women present. Among them they had nearly 30 children.
"I don't know what
to do about my Shamus," Deidre lamented, "He can't keep
his hands off me, especially after he's had a pint or two at the
"It isn't his hands
you have to worry about," Anna said. The rest of the women
got her drift and started to laugh.
"Well what are we
going to do about it? I mean they are our husbands, but I barely
get one of the wee ones out of his nappies, and the next one's on
"You can't use a
rubber. The Church says using one of them is a sin."
"I heard that Maureen
O'Donnel's husband went over to Liverpool on holiday and when he
came back he was
you know! You can't get that kind of an
operation in this country."
"'Tis true, she
hasn't been pregnant for a couple of years. But I don't think our
men would stand for it."
"I don't think the
fellows are standing when it's done. It isn't like going to the
loo." More giggles.
"I keep telling
me Sean, 'no,' but he doesn't listen."
"They like spoiled
little boys when it comes to this."
"The spoiled little
"What do you mean?"
"I mean what do
you do when your Tommy acts up?"
"I pull down his
britches,expose his bum and lay a strapping piece a willow across
it. That' what I do."
"And who's to say
that what's good for the boy isn't good for the man. If he's acting
like a child, then by God, treat him like a child."
"Oh no, I couldn't
"And why not?"
"It would hurt him."
"Any more than labor
pains hurt you?"
"You got a point
"Next time he takes
a fancy to your fanny and it's that time. Tell him, 'no.' and if
he doesn't stop. Put a switch to his arse just before the tender
The women all nodded
and agreed. This was a good thing to do.
The pregnancies stopped.
The moral of the story:
A switch in time saves nine.