Subject: (was Re: Strength)
From: email@example.com(Laura Goodwin )
Date: 13 Dec 1995 17:55:17 GMT
firstname.lastname@example.org (Crazy J101) writes:
Personally I have my weaknesses but I much rather state
my strengths than my weaknesses. Never in a hundred years would
I state my weakness as a reason for a Dominant women to take me
in as her slave. I would tell her of my weaknesses but I would include
what I was doing to change them into strengths.
Well, thanks for touching on something that's been a peeve of mine
for a while. As a dominant woman I have seen the other side of this
and I agree that self-styled "worthless worms" are absolutely
uninteresting to me. Sure, call him anything once you are intimate,
but "worm" and "pussy-boy" are not terms to
be bandied about casually, at least not on the first date! ;)
Not all, but certainly most of the heterosexual dominant women
I've known want a guy who's got a lot on the ball. They want to
be impressed, and BTW, they want to be made to feel special: to
be courted. Sub males have a slightly different script to follow
when courting a dominant woman, but it's not that
different. Be polite, punctual, well-groomed, and please
NO intimate gifts, such as panties or stockings, until you are actually
intimate. You may bring flowers, if she likes them, but red roses
are inappropriate for a first encounter. Yellow roses tell her you
are terrified of displeasing her, go for the gold.
It is important to be honest about your strengths and weaknesses,
if she asks, but keep a little mystery, will ya? Don't dump
your whole life story, especially in your first conversation/letter.
You are trying to get to know her a little, and let her get to know
you. If you get a clear, unmistakeable sign from her that to her
you could possibly be more than a friend, _and_ if you like her,
then you turn on the charm and do your darnedest to win her
Lots of men and women who meet through ads or S/M support groups
make the mistake of rushing off to have dinner together. This is
wrong. First, take a walk together. If that doesn't quickly become
tiresome, then you may get coffee, even lunch together. Then you
stop! Then you go home! Send her a note of thanks for the fine company,
call on the phone to ask if you may visit again, and leave it up
to her. If she doesn't encourage you, give up!
Let's assume the lady in question has requested that you consider
yourself to be in the running. Groovy, but you are not out of the
woods. She doesn't own you yet, and you don't own her.
Bear in mind that you probably have competition for her attention,
so keep your best foot forward, and make your mind up to be sporting.
Getting to know such a woman goes by degrees:
- One way or another you get one another's names, this is called
- You hang out at the same places. This is called "We're
- You like her a lot and wish to date her. This is, "I
admire her." (She might admire you, too.)
- You walk, have lunch, call on the phone. Called, "I'm
- You go on a date for dinner, and dancing or a show. "We
- You spend Saturday naked at her place doing housework and
cooking for her, maybe she lets you touch her somewhere. You
ask to know if there are many rivals for her love. This is called,
"We had a great time together Saturday."
- (This is where the red roses come in) She has let you
know that she prefers your company. You decide to seriously
allow yourself to be shaped into her complete love slave, if
she'll have you. You fling your heart and everything attached
to it at her feet. She graciously accepts. This is known as,
"We're pretty serious about each other."
- (This is where the worthless worm part comes in) You have
your first serious disagreement, meaning you don't let her win.
You stick to your guns. She concedes the point because it's
not worth a blow-up, then hates herself and you. You leave,
while both of you are thinking that the relationship is doomed.
You wisely decide that serious groveling can be fun, so you
abase yourself and beg her forgiveness (bringing a valuable
gift, preferably precious metal. If you have shared an orgasm
before now, you must include a gemstone). This is, "Sometimes
I can be such an idiot."
- If she hasn't mentioned it before now, then now you ask if
she intends to collar and claim you.
a.) If she's not sure, ask how she'd feel about you acting like
a free man. If she says you are free, better believe it, and
start dating other ladies again.
b.) If she wants to claim you, open up about any things you
have reservations about, then ask again. If she then has doubts,
see 9a.) This is called, "We had a very serious discussion
- She decides to claim you as her own. You share the happy news
with your S/M pals by saying "I'm owned! I am property!
I belong to mistress (hername) and I'm helpless in her glorious
hands! To your vanilla friends you say, "I'm engaged!"
In any case, you give her a ring. A Really Nice One.
- You begin to politic with each other about every niggling
thing in the relationship. This isn't called anything. Nobody
talks about this part, but everybody does it (it's necessary
to make progress).
- Eventually, you share a household. It is her house. You wash
her undies for her. You notice that her undies aren't worthy
of her heavenly pelvis. NOW you buy her underwear! You say,
"Darling, I got something for you today!"
And so it goes... ;)